Savages Movie Download

1 / 10

Savagely Bad
Nothing or nobody could’ve prepared me for Savages. But, the incredibly inept opening narration should’ve been clue number one what I was in for.

Director Oliver Stone was great at one point, right? Make that: many points of many films for decades. I am curious to find out if even he watched this finished project before it was distributed. How could he miss the multitudes of incompetence of this film? Even a first time director would’ve been embarrassed or caught even half of the dozen or so fails shown here.

The number one problem overall was the wretched script and abominable dialogue in said script. Attempting to not laugh out loud or, at minimum, shake your head with each word spoken, specifically the unintentionally hilarious narration, was a fruitless act. Oh, and speaking of which, acting, particularly Blake Lively’s O(h my god, she sucks) character, was second on the naughty list. Absolutely everyone else, including a terrible and phoned in John Travolta, was awful, but the ironically named Lively should’ve taken home the Razzie. Or hopefully, at very least, never act again.

Further, the feeble attempts at cinematic style on screen failed hard with each scene and the laughable stock footage didn’t help. In a movie about drugs and heavy usage almost proved Stone must’ve been high himself when this was shot. Also, the all-over-the-place and endless story was just too dumb to be even mocked. Like the inconceivable length of this movie, the randomness of events, subplots/relationships and pathetic twists felt too much and never once authentic.

In a threesome of partners-in-crime have a dilemma when Mexican Madmen want to “monitor” their successful drug business for three years. As with the rest of the script, the boys (oh, sorry, the threesome is two dudes and one girl, but supposedly the two buds aren’t gay) go back and forth on deciding on whether to join the Mexican Mafia. So, while they boringly debate, they decide to add a lot of screen time to the movie’s length by: going to dinner, hanging out in their pad, drinking, smoking and attempting to launder money – but even that, they keep flip-flopping with a wasted use of the talented Emile Hirsch.

To make matters worse, (meaning: unfortunately the film went on) the Mexican Meanies kidnap the female portion of their pact and the boys would do anything to get her back. Unconvincingly, but still. So, they do this, do that, change this, trick that…nothing with continuity, originality or believability.

And the predictable climax actually borrows from…the Twilight film series conclusion? Now, that’s rich and so appropriate for this movie that inconceivably took three writers to script. Including Stone.

Though completely unintentional, Savages might actually be more hilarious than my previous favorite pot-comedy: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. But since it’s “supposed to be serious,” the movie’s over the top gore, violence and language felt more like “Look at what I can do!” than meshing with the actual scenes. The kicker was that the sex scenes looked incredibly awkward and not even believable had it been a teen’s first time.

Obviously, this is a skip. Save your two-and-a-half hours for your loved ones because if you’re headed to hell in the afterlife, why start your torture here?

* * * Final thoughts: Showing more male ass than female nudity helps in any movie, but sadly, in the case of Savages, when you start with the two lead’s bums upfront, it can only go down from there. And, it did feel like an avalanche of dread from when their respectably nice butts were so nicely displayed to the end credits.Read More