Swamp Freak Movie Download

1 / 10

Swamp Stupid
There is absolutely nothing worthwhile or interesting about this movie. The direction is terrible, and the acting is even worse. When the film reveals the “mysterious monster”, you can very clearly see that the actor inside of the costume is wearing a hat and boots.

The premise of the movie is that a popular teacher has somehow gone missing, and several students set out on a quest to find their beloved educator. The police won’t help because the teacher hasn’t been missing for more than 72 hours.

Student # 1 is a young woman who arrives at their missing teacher’s cottage ahead of the others. She is trying to coordinate the search.

Searcher/Student #1 shows up to help, and while searching for the missing teacher, he espies the monster. Frightened by what he sees, he goes tear-assing down the road at full speed. Somehow, the lumbering monster, who walks very slowly through the brush, catches up to him, and kills him with a swipe of it’s paw or hand.

Searcher/Student # 2 shows up, and is killed in the exact same setting, and series of events as Searcher/Student #1. The director shot and re-shot the exact same scenes with different actors.

Searcher/ Student # 3. Ditto. However, Searcher/Student # 3 executes one of the worst falls with injury in the history of cinema. He literally just flops onto the ground and starts screaming, “It’s gotta be my knee!”

Searcher/Student # 4. Ditto, minus the lousy fall and injury. Each kill made by the monster is exactly the same. Victim runs at top speed. Monster lumbers slowly along. Victim turns around. Monster is suddenly there. Victim screams. Monster swipes at victim.with his right hand. Monster wades into the swamp and slowly slips beneath the surface.

Then we have the “villain” who summons the monster… the monster’s brother. He looks like he just got off of work at Starbucks. He and the monster are the protectors of the swamp, you see, and it is their duty to protect the swamp… which they feel is theirs… from trespassers and developers. Their is no explanation offered as to why one of the brothers looks like a Starbucks barrista, and why the other looks like a guy covered in seaweed (wearing a hat and boots). There is also the unexplained “portal” between the attic of the cottage, and the swamp. Starbucks-Boy goes up into the attic, and in the very next scene, he’s somehow aalllllll the way over by the swamp, with no explanation whatsoever as to how he got there.

Then, there’s the unexpected plot twist at the very end of the movie. Starbucks-Boy and the monster in the hat and the boots are one in the same!

This movie is beyond stupid, and it is one of the most poorly executed movies that I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. Spare yourself the mind-numbing agony of sitting through this utter piece of trash.Read More